Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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