I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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