yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
