Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
