Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
im about as happy as oj after his trial
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize