definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
