Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He better not be in your backpack
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize