Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
