I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
