Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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