Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
