You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
