She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
