I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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