Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
