You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
