I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has the fingertips of a God
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