Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
