You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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