drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
