We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
