Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
