I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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