I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
