I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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