I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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