well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
