He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
