dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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