I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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