yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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