names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
