You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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