i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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