what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
