Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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