Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
