For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
