$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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