The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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