very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
