We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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