you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
