I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
