I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
