zippers are such a cool invention
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
