I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
