Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
