Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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