I think I won the penis lottery.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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