she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
