So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
