i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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