you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
