The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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