nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
