Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
