Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
