And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
