i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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