ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
