Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
