It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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