Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
