I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize