Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
