So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
