Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
