..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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