I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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