At least make sure they are 18
Why
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
