is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
